Do you remember the phrase “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” Does this mean I must invent nice things? Or that I must never offer correction? Although some may use the phrase in this way, I don’t think that was its intended meaning, and I know that idea doesn’t agree with Scripture.
Proverbs 10:18 says “The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.” We have many texts that tell us slander and hatred are sins (Colossians 3:8; 1 John 3:15), but what about concealing hatred? Are we being told to share our hatred? There are two contrasting words here, ‘conceals’ and ‘utters,’ but both actions are spoken from the heart of a fool. Verse 19 goes on to say, “whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” This makes it clear that the one who hates in verse 18 is concealing his hatred not by “restraining his lips,” but by uttering nice things that he does not believe are true.
We are not being told harboring hatred is alright so long as we share it. 1 John 2:10-11; 3:15 says that those who hate are lost and blind; they walk in darkness and abide in death. To stop hate, we must live out Ephesians 4:29-32.
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion. . . Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Hate is not hidden; it is removed through forgiveness and love. Only then can you say nice things at the right times for the right reasons.